You know that one behavior that you get spanked the most for? I am tackling it head on this week!
One behavior I struggle with SO badly is yelling at my kids. I totally know the response I SHOULD have, I just don't do it. A lifetime long bad habit is hard to break. I adore my kids and this behavior is I KNOW totally unacceptable.
The thing is, I have gotten better, like CONSIDERABLY better. But, it is still an issue, and I still get spanked for it at least a few times a week...
I don't get a full punishment for it, my HoH tried to up it to a full punishment once and I completely emotionally lost it. It was as though I felt resentful of my kids for me getting spanked over yelling at them. T Silly I know, but it is where I was emotionally, and the feelings of it freaked me out. Thanfully my HoH was gracious enough to back off that a little for the time being.
A few days ago, SC asked me to write out how I could have better handled a situation where I had yelled. I know what I should have done, and I know what I need to do, and I am taking the 7 day challenge of NO YELLING. Wait, I mean no yelling. LOL
SC graciously offered to increase the consequences to help with this challenge, I
In all fairness, I probably do need his help...I have considered asking for daily reminders, but asking for that seems CRAZY, ya know?
So, what do you think? What might help me get through this challenge? All ideas welcome!
Oh, and do you have a behavior you want to join in and take the 7 day challenge? Can you make it 7 days without being spanked for that behavior? (Notice I didn't say spanked at all...I am a realist!) ;)
Hi Cole. Cute post :) Besides the extra *incentive* you already have to change this habit, the only thing that really comes to my mind is that oldie, but goodie; count to ten. I know, I know, much easier said than done in the heat of the moment! My long time habit of being a control freak is slowly but surely improving since DD. I tend to think twice before saying those rude, bossy things that I used to. With very good reason! Good luck with your 7 days, I'm sure you can do it :)
ReplyDeleteThank you! I think I would need to cunt to 100, 10 doesn't seem to cut it! Lol
Delete*count ROFL
DeleteGood luck with your challenge! Sometimes when I have things I need to work on, I create a little mantra for myself to say over and over... "I will leave on time for work. I will get out the door on time and start my day off right." I just say it over and over in my head... hoping a little of it sinks in! I love how realistic you are in setting your goal at 7 days for just 1 behavior. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you! Yes I keep telling myself to keep calm! Lol and yes, I am realistic! ;)
DeleteThe only thing that I may add to your suggestions is this.. you know how some TIH have the 15 min rule. Maybe you could have it in reverse.. send your children to their room or a spot for 15 minutes, so you can think about how your gonna respond. I haven't looked back to see how old your children are, so keep that in mind in my response. Good luck on your challenge. I wasn't going to do a spring challenge, but I have sorta been forced into it. I was diagnosed with diabetes on Friday. I am now having to change up my eating and exercise for sure. Wish me luck.. I love to eat.. I hate to exercise.. God bless you and yours, -Belle L.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the thoughts! Yes I have sent them to their rooms for a few minutes...not 15, but it does help even for a few minutes. Hope your challenge goes well! I am fearful that my day will come where I am forced to deal ore radically. I have been going to the gym (small doses) and drinking more water. I need to do a major weight loss challenge, but it has been difficult!
DeleteI have four kids never yelling is unrealistic. If I didnt yell at least once a day nothing would get done and no one would be on time. With that said I did get some great advice once from my kids pediatrician. Pick and choose things, pick the battles and things that should be yelled at for. Then count to ten and talk through the rest. Its helped me and my vocal cords. I was a screamer and had to have surgery on my vocal cords because of it. Good Luck
ReplyDeleteI have done way better at the screaming., it doesn't happen nearly as much anymore. Yelling a name or stop! Is ok...but I am trying to leave it at that. Day two is underway and I am so far so good! :) we definitely pick battles, and we are big fans of reality discipline and know it works. Just a matter of doing what I need to do! :) I know never yelling wont be a reality, but I would like to minimize it! :)
DeleteGood luck with your challenge Cole. I wish you much luck.
ReplyDeleteCallie
Thank you! :)
DeleteSounds like a good challenge. I should probably make a challenge for my bedtime rule as well since I am having so much trouble with it. I imagine knowing it is a challenge will be more helpful in sticking with it since you have something to aim for. In any case good luck :)
ReplyDeleteChallenges do help! Even though we have "other motivation" to follow the rules...something about a challenge is very motivating! :)
ReplyDeleteOh goodness, no advice here whatsoever but if you figure out how to do it please share! "No raising my voice" is one of my top rules from my Hoh and it is so difficult! Hope you can complete your challenge with flying colors! quiet_sara :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by Sara! I doubt I will find any secret weapon to help...but, I am two days down! Woohoo! :) my biggest tool so far? Whispering! When I feel the urge to yell, drop my voice to a whisper...since I am aggravated it probably comes out more around normal tone...but it is gentler! Lol ;)
DeleteThat is such a good idea! My Hoh is a very quiet man and often whispers or talks in a low tone to make his point clear whether it is with me, or the children. I almost never think of it though! I will have to try! quiet_sara :)
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