Monday, May 26, 2014

The Dynamics of a Vacation


Such a wonderful word.

About once a year SC and I try to take a short vacation just the two of us-- no kids-- and take some time to get away and just reconnect.

I look forward to this long weekend every year. The time alone with SC is so very important. I love ... adore my kids. But being a stay at home/homeschool mom can get tiring...especially in May when school is finishing up. I was ready for a vacation!

However, there was a small hangup with this trip. We were going with two other couples.

I was nervous.

Normally, time away with SC is time to let loose-- be ourselves. He is in super H mode, and I love settling into super submissive mode. All of my responsibilities are gone, and I get to just let him lead. I love it. But . . . going with other people kind of throws the whole dynamic.

Like I said. I was nervous.

I told SC about my concerns-- I wanted to be honest with him upfront so we could do what we needed to do to make the trip a good one.

I expressed that I was worried about him acting "H"y in front of others. That I was concerned about acting submissive in front of others.

The first day was a bit awkward. He was over the top H'y, and I knew he was doing it on purpose to establish the tone of the trip. It didn't take long until we were in our room and I was being spanked with his belt...not hard, but just as a "reminder" to be careful. More than the swats, what really got me in line was the verbal role affirmation he gave me.

He assured me that he was very much in hoh mode, and that vacation changed nothing. He told me that while he understood the difficulty of being around others he expected my respect at all times and for me not to fall into bad habits of the other wives with us. He assured me that while in front of others he did not expect it, he did expect yes sir/no sir in the room and when we were alone.

He was in "super" h mode. And he knew it was exactly what I needed. This lecture was his way of setting the tone. He was going to be extra strict while we were alone so that there would be no question who was in charge, and how I was to behave when were not alone.

The lecture helped. A lot. It definitely got me in the right head space, and I appreciated his clearly outlining his expectations.

I'm not gonna lie. I was what SC calls "feisty" a lot. Quite a lot actually. But mostly when we were alone. And I got swatted quite a bit for said feistiness. ;) I don't usually brat on purpose, and I didn't this time either, but I do think subconsciously I needed to know he was paying attention and was going to stay on top of things. And that he did.

I did complain about his public "hoh"iness a bit...he definitely had a few over the top moments! ;) Like when he confiscated my phone the first day at lunch! Or threatened with a "do you want to find out?" another...and quite a few other moments...the implements had very little use thankfully-- and mostly for reminders. But really, we had a fabulous vacation.

It could have been a tricky situation. It had plenty of room for problems. But communication is key. I communicated my concerns ahead of time. He responded, laid out the expectations and made it work. We still got plenty of time on our own to let loose and keep the roles firmly established. And I was able to sit back and remain submissive even around others-- discreetly.  Plenty of communication and clarifying expectations on both sides is key!

Have any tips for handling vacations as a dd couple? Particularly when around family and friends???

Thursday, May 1, 2014

The Liebster Award!

Thank you so much Meredith from New Twist After All These Years for nominating me with the Liebster Award!

The rules of the Liebster!

1. Thank the person who nominated you and link to their blog.
2. Display the award on your blog either by widget, gadget or image.
3. Answer questions about yourself provided by your nominator.
4. Provide 11 random facts about yourself.
5. Nominate 5 to 11 blogs with less than 1,000 followers who deserve this award.
6. Create a new list of questions for the nominees to answer.
7. List these rules on your post then after you have published it you must ...
8. Inform people/blogs that you nominated that they have been nominated for the Liebster Award and provide a link for them to your post so they can learn all about it!

Meredith's 11 Questions:

1. Are you right or left handed?

Right. (This is like one of those ice breaker questions. An easy one to build your confidence for the harder ones! :) Thank you Meredith!)

2. Do you dream about being spanked?

Well, ummm...I have actually. I guess I think that is pretty weird and it hasn't happened often, but it has happened...does that mean something????!!!!

3. How many states have you visited?

Hmmmm I feel the need to consult a map....I think 26....I think...that seems sad. I guess I am more of an international traveler LOL

(For your own entertainment purposes I will share with you that this question got interrupted by SC calling me to the garage...there is only one reason he calls me to the garage ya'all. Yeah. ouch. Good thing these chairs are padded.

4. First thing in the morning, do you like coffee or tea?

Neither. Honestly, I don't think I am capable of liking anyone or anything in the morning...well ok when my kid comes in for "snuggles" that's pretty likable...

My drink of choice is Diet Coke followed by Crystal Lite Iced Tea...but usually I just drink water.

5. Have you ever tried to talk your way out of a spanking?

Wait. Some people don't??? I guess that's a yes. :)

6. What is your favorite book of all time?

Total fluff and sappiness with no literary value (and I do value good literature), but The Princess by Lori Wick.

7. Name a place you never want to return to.

Toys R Us in NYC the day before Christmas Eve. Yeah. No thanks. Never again.

8. Do you sleep in the nude?

For real I would LOVE to...but ya'all, I have 3 kids. And the little one occasionally finds her way into our bed in the middle of the night. And in the morning they ALL find their way into our room. That would scar them forever so I wear the minimal necessary to NOT cause PTSD. ;)

9. Are you a night owl or a morning lark?

Night for sure. Why do mornings even exist??? Morning people scare me. (including my HoH)

10. What is your best marriage advice?

Talk. Talk. and talk some more. And when you think you have said it all. Keep talking. Don't ever assume anything. Communication is so vital.

11. How does spanking work in your marriage?

We have punishments (yuck!), fun ones (yeah!), and maintenance/RA ones (meh) My H does all the spanking, though I try to throw a swat here or there... :) Spanking cleans the slate. He is no longer angry. I am no longer guilty. And the relationship is now restored. It doesn't make sense all the time. But it works. I guess we are pragmatists at heart.

11 Facts about Me:

1. I am a Diet Coke addict. For real. It's terrible for you I know. I love it anyway.

2. I spend WAY too much time online.

3. I act like I am pretty emotionally tough, but I am actually super sensitive.

4. I am a huge people pleaser ... to a fault. I don't always do what people want...but I feel bad about that. ;)

5. I love to be busy, and love to get out and do things...I can't stay in the house too many days in a row or I go crazy.

6. I love to swim, but only in the pool. The beach freaks me out-- sharks and all that.

7. Love Love Love to read. My HoH keeps a tight reign on my Amazon budget, much to my chagrin.

8. I love to travel, and have traveled internationally quite a bit. I love off the beaten path type places-- not the touristy spots.

9. I have always wanted to sky dive. After having 3 kids the thought it not as appealing (leaving orphans and all that), but sky diving and para-sailing still call to me....maybe one day...

10. I like cooking...but not cleaning so that makes cooking not as fun because the cleaning part always follows.

11. I am a closet country music fan...shhhhh! Don't tell!

ok, so I am a little late to the party so if you have already been nominated, sorry! I nominate:

Tricia @ Love of My Life, Head of the House

Callie @ About Us

Emi Jones @ Veiled Obsessions 

Catherine Shaw @ My Sir, My Forever Love

Kay @ Trying to Learn, Learning to Try

Tasha Madison @ Our New Beginning 

Tag. You're it!!!! :) 

1. What do you like to do in your free time/favorite hobby?

2. What was your favorite vacation ever?

3. What are your top 5 movies of all times?

4. Would you ever consider telling your kids/family about dd? Why or why not?

5. One thing your HoH does that makes you feel submissive.

6. Least Favorite spanking implement.

7. If you had to spend $5,000 today, what would you buy?

8. Favorite sex toy and why.

9. What is  your dream date night scenario?

10. If you could get rid of one rule what would it be?

11. What was your most memorable spanking?