Do I need to get the paddle?
No thank you?
Are you really going to tell me you don't know know what I am looking for?
Seriously? What am I looking for?
Why would you do that? Are you bratting me? You are. I think we need a reminder of roles. Over the bed.
Who is the HoH?
And who is in charge?
My role is to lead and yours is to?
Ugh! 10 swats with the paddle later he pulls me to him.
He has this weird sixth sense at these moments....
Smarting off here would not be wise...nor would be sassing or arguing...I take a moment to collect my thoughts.
I'm just processing.
He doesn't let me go which means he will wait for me to process in his arms where I can't physically distance. Smart man. But oh so frustrating!
It's just...you don't always require "sir" and when you do, it's usually only during a punishment.
That's true, but I do like it, and appreciate it. and you knew what I was looking for, right? And yet you chose to act like you didn't, right?
The problem here is not that you didn't say sir in the first place, it is when I continued to push you for it, you knew what I was looking for and chose to withhold it. Which to me, represents a lack of submission. Right?
Are you ok now?
The issue of "sir" is a challenging one for me. For a long time my HoH did not require it at all. We discussed it a few times and I used it occasionally because it was a natural response at times. Then we got to a point where I realized it really caused me to feel submissive. SC decided he liked it and it served a purpose in punishment.
In the above dialogue, I totally knew what he was looking for, but I was simply bucking up against him. Why? I think because this is a difficult topic for me. A quandary. Sir offers respect, which I want to give my HoH. My HoH appreciates the gesture, even requiring it at times, I know it causes me to feel submissive, which is a good thing...so why does it cause a problem?
It is that deep down stirring that keeps me wondering...but, but, he is my husband! But really, how is saying sir any different than being sent to the corner, or being spanked?!? Why do I question this? I trust him, and I trust his leading...
I know this is a super personal thing and will be different for everyone. The thing is my HoH does have authority and does require respect, and sir is one way to offer that. I should probably offer it more freely....but if submission came naturally... I probably wouldn't be blogging about this to begin with! :)
On a more fun and positive note, I made my 7 day No Yelling Challenge!!! WooHoo! I am so excited!!! While I didn't make it 7 days without getting spanked, I will be excited about this achievement anyway! I really never thought I could do it, so I am encouraged and ready to take on another week!