NO!!!
Excuse me?
No thank you?
Ex-cuse me?
Pause.
What?!?
Are you really going to tell me you don't know know what I am looking for?
Silence
Seriously? What am I looking for?
Silence
Why would you do that? Are you bratting me? You are. I think we need a reminder of roles. Over the bed.
Who is the HoH?
You are
And who is in charge?
You are
My role is to lead and yours is to?
Submit
Ugh! 10 swats with the paddle later he pulls me to him.
What's wrong?
He has this weird sixth sense at these moments....
Smarting off here would not be wise...nor would be sassing or arguing...I take a moment to collect my thoughts.
I'm just processing.
Ok.
He doesn't let me go which means he will wait for me to process in his arms where I can't physically distance. Smart man. But oh so frustrating!
It's just...you don't always require "sir" and when you do, it's usually only during a punishment.
That's true, but I do like it, and appreciate it. and you knew what I was looking for, right? And yet you chose to act like you didn't, right?
I guess...
Silent pause
The problem here is not that you didn't say sir in the first place, it is when I continued to push you for it, you knew what I was looking for and chose to withhold it. Which to me, represents a lack of submission. Right?
Nod
Are you ok now?
Yes sir
The issue of "sir" is a challenging one for me. For a long time my HoH did not require it at all. We discussed it a few times and I used it occasionally because it was a natural response at times. Then we got to a point where I realized it really caused me to feel submissive. SC decided he liked it and it served a purpose in punishment.
In the above dialogue, I totally knew what he was looking for, but I was simply bucking up against him. Why? I think because this is a difficult topic for me. A quandary. Sir offers respect, which I want to give my HoH. My HoH appreciates the gesture, even requiring it at times, I know it causes me to feel submissive, which is a good thing...so why does it cause a problem?
It is that deep down stirring that keeps me wondering...but, but, he is my husband! But really, how is saying sir any different than being sent to the corner, or being spanked?!? Why do I question this? I trust him, and I trust his leading...
I know this is a super personal thing and will be different for everyone. The thing is my HoH does have authority and does require respect, and sir is one way to offer that. I should probably offer it more freely....but if submission came naturally... I probably wouldn't be blogging about this to begin with! :)
On a more fun and positive note, I made my 7 day No Yelling Challenge!!! WooHoo! I am so excited!!! While I didn't make it 7 days without getting spanked, I will be excited about this achievement anyway! I really never thought I could do it, so I am encouraged and ready to take on another week!
Sir is a very interesting concept. Sometimes he asks for it, mostly I just say it. In the beginning it was totally totally unnatural. I've gotten used to saying it though and it's almost become second nature. It's got less syllables than his name which makes it easier too :P
ReplyDeleteCallie
Callie, I think a lot of the time I say it naturally..but occasionally like this time, I totally get hung up...lol on the less syllables! I use "dear" a lot in public and in front of the kids...and use sir when it is just us. Most of the time I offer it. I need to stop thinking when I start to question...just turn it off, ya know? Lol
DeleteYay! I am so glad you made it on your 7 day challenge! Awesome!!! We don't have a term of endearment here. I tried calling my husband Sir once and he was actually annoyed. It was in a text though, not in person, so he thought I was being snippy or bratty. I had to explain I really wasn't doing that! Oh well, to each their own. I love all the different dynamics Hoh's and their wives have. :) quiet_sara
ReplyDeleteOh dear! In text I usually say y/s for yes sir...hopefully less obvious if someone saw it, lol! And yes, all HoH's and their wives sure are unique as is TTWD for each! :)
DeleteOh wait, I think I accidentally just lied! We DO have a TOE, but I forgot all about it. Probably because I hate saying it to other people... lol I mean like saying I call him "________" I don't mind calling him the TOE I just don't like saying I do that... lol Yeah, I am rambling on and on, sorry! quiet_sara
ReplyDeleteLol...now I am curious! Haha
DeleteOh, it's nothing so amazing, it's quite normal. I just feel weird saying what it is to other people! lol quiet_sara
DeleteHey Cole,
DeleteI started a blog yesterday. Maybe you could visit sometime? :)
quiet_sara
http://quietsara.blogspot.com/
Just headed over, welcome to Blogland! :)
DeleteCongrats on your 7 day challenge!
ReplyDeleteI decided to go another way and got in trouble 7 days in a row instead. Well obviously not on purpose lol. Now I plan to go 7 days without getting spanked!
Thank you! Oh no! 7 days in a row? Yikes! Hope your next week is better! I still got spanked twice last week, just not for yelling. Lol I really want to do a for real no spanking challenge....maybe I can start tomorrow since its already too late today! ;)
DeleteYour post resonated with me... and the word "quandary" is perfect! There are times that it seems perfectly natural to use the word 'sir' and other times I know he's expecting and waiting for me to say it and I just can't seem to make myself!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on making your 7 day challenge!! :)
Kim, I hear ya! It can be challenging.. A true moment of really submitting your will when sometimes..it is not easy.
DeleteAnd Thanks!!! :)
Congrats on your 7 day challenge! ((hugs))
ReplyDeleteHubby won't let me call him Sir. He hates it. But I want to call him Sir and I have to stop myself all the time. I'm naturally submissive while he is the hesitant HoH.
Thank you! Hugs back to ya! :) each HoH is certainly different and has different expectations. The true challenge in TTWD is submitting to our HoH's when it doesn't line up with what we think our HoH should do/expect. I really thought my HoH would be hesitant..he has proven me wrong. He has take the reigns and refuses to relinquish his new control. Some HoH's just do things differently...I bet your HoH just has a different way of asserting his desires...but it is hard when we have different expectations.
DeleteI could certainly see it being frustrating when it it can be so natural to say at times...knowing it does not please him. Maybe you can come up with an alternative term of endearment that you both agree on..that way you are not starting to say sir and catching yourself to say nothing, but say something that he would appreciate more? Just a thought! :)
Yay for your 7 day challenge! Congrats on that. :)
ReplyDeleteThe Sir thing can be difficult .. such a short little word, but really there's SO much to it!
You're so right, if submission came easily, there'd be a lot less bloggers. Besides, we have to give the HoH's some sort of a challenge! :)
Thanks! Challenges are good right?!? Lol well, maybe not that kind! ;)
DeleteGreat post Cole! Glad you made your challenge. Good luck this week!
ReplyDeleteM.
Thank you! So far so good! Have a great week! :)
DeleteGood for you on the challenge and good luck with it for another week. Sorry you got spanked. The more you use a word the more it helps with it becoming natural.
ReplyDeleteThank you! sometimes it seems so natural and sometimes I can barely force myself to say it! I know it is all an attitude issue though...working on it! :)
Delete