I am a perfectionist. I like to get it all right. The kind of person that scowled at a 97% because..ugh I could have should have gotten 100%. And of course a 100% was only good if extra credit wasn't available. Are you following me here?
I have issues. I know.
Some of this has been worked out on the road of life. Perfection is not possible. I have to settle for excellent. ;)
But then...there are those areas I don't come close to perfect...or excellent. The areas of life I pretty much gave up on.
DD has brought new perspective to those areas of my life. Some of them at this point, I am no longer able to hide from. I have to face them, confront them, and I am forced to engage....even if the score at the end is an F.
This is challenging.
This week I have been on a 7 day No Yelling challenge. So far, I have
Weight loss is another all or nothing in my life. I have a considerable amount to lose and I have done more diets than I can count. I am either all in or all out. This is one of those areas we decided to let dd help. Not focusing on weight loss, but focusing on improving healthy habits. I have increased my water intake and am going to the gym three times a week. They are rules, and I am obeying them. Again, no where near all, but way better than nothing!
Last night I was spanked. Not for yelling at the kids, but for a few disrespectful comments to SC. I was frustrated. Why? because I am all or nothing! I am on a 7 day no yelling challenge, and in my mind I wanted to be spank free during that time. I made it 6 days...sigh. SC assured me it had nothing to do with my challenge, but I still felt disappointment. And really 6 days without being spanked is pretty good in my world!
The road to improvement has no room for all or nothing. I am a work in progress...Learning that sometimes...I have to live in the or of all or nothing.