Well, that's not really what happens of course. I am an ADULT. A responsible, mature, wife and mother.
So WHY OH WHY was I panicking when my dear HoH was preparing to leave on a business trip?!?! He doesn't travel often, but does take several trips a year. This was not the first time we had been away since since starting TTWD, but it was the first time he was the one leaving...
Yet, I had so many concerns about him leaving. I always have a hard time when he goes away. My kids are small, it is a lot on me, I hate sleeping without him next to me. I hate dark quiet nights alone. I don't fall asleep easily when he is gone so I end up exhausted. This trip the kids are a little older and honestly, his lack of help was not as missed...just him.
Before he left I wondered, How would I survive?!?!
My greatest concerns:
--I am so needy since starting dd. How would I make it through eight days without him holding me?
--I HATE having punishment hanging over me...what would happen when I messed up and knew I was in trouble, but had to wait?!?!? (He suggested that silent spanking cream....thankfully I convinced him that was a bad idea!)
--In eight days I would probably have a slew of punishments built up...
--We had just had "the Perfect Storm" and while we were "ok" I still felt unsettled.
Thankfully, it was spring break this week and I appreciated not having as full a plate as usual, not having school in the mix. Despite my fears, I survived.
SC asked me to keep a list of punishable offenses. Yuck.
I really really really wanted to make it through the week without messing up...
Yeah, screwed that up the first night. UGH
He comes home tonight...I have told him about most of it....but there are a few things I have yet to tell him about. One, I really thought wasn't a big deal, but some dd friends inform me it might be bigger than I thought : /
I REALLY hate messing up. I REALLY hate disappointing him. Most of the issues are minor --swattable things, but not full punishments...but there are one or two that make me nervous...I hate waiting...
My biggest concern of all about him leaving? Being nervous about him coming home. I was really scared that if I messed up enough I would be conflicted in my feelings about him coming home. Of course I would want him home, but how would him coming home and having to punish me affect that excitement?
Well, he comes home tonight. The list of transgressions is much longer than I would have liked. I am super super bummed about that. But I am OVER THE MOON excited about him coming home.
Yeah. I know in the next several days I am going to get spanked...but then he will HOLD ME. And I will be back in his arms where I belong.
The week apart has had a few unexpected bonus'. I had plenty of time to reflect and consider what happened last week (in the Perfect Storm), was able to get some great feedback and insight from experienced and respected dders, and my bottom has had a chance to go eight days spank free. . . if only it could last . . . ;)