I look back and am simply amazed at how much both SC and I have changed in that time. Our marriage is stronger. We are more in love with each other than ever before, and the structure and discipline brought into our relationship by domestic discipline is helping us both get closer to the people we desire to be.
A Few Reflections:
By far the greatest reward of domestic discipline is the closeness. The nature of dd brings complete honesty. There is nothing unsaid, no walls, no distance. My HoH feels a fierce desire to protect and care for me as I submit to him. The responsibility has stretched and grown him, and I appreciate so much the man he is. He caters to my needs to be touched and held, and indulges me even in my weird obsessions like his hand on my bottom while I fall asleep. (What is up with that anyway?!?! I rationalize it by telling him that my bottom needs extra TLC after all the damage he does to it!) ;) No matter the challenges and the countless spankings over the last year, I wouldn't trade our closeness for anything.
Authenticity. Sigh. I know not telling the world about our dd dynamic is not being dishonest and is not not being authentic...but sometimes it feels that way. I have always been a very open person. I share everything. There are a few people I often feel like I am lying to by not sharing this. The truth is I know I cannot. They would not understand, it would not be beneficial...but the secrecy has probably been my greatest challenge over the past year.
Oh.My.Word. I have yet to make it 7 consecutive days without a punishment spanking. IN A YEAR!!!! Do you realize how many times that means I have been spanked in the last year!?!?! Incredibly frustrating!!! I have often made it 5 and have even made it 6 days but never 7!
I have often contemplated why and I think there are a variety of reasons. One, I need it. Ugh. Did I just say that? Yeah, it's true. If I go to long I get stressed out. A few times I have jumped out of my comfort zone and admitted that to SC. He does maintenance and I am fine...but why is that sooooo hard?!?! Asking is near impossible most of the time-- it seems so counter rational!!!! I have often wondered if the intensity needed to increase but goodness, during a punishment sometimes it is near impossible to make it through...could I handle more? Things to consider. I am determined to make it 7 days without a punishment and to make it happen soon!!!!
Top Ten Lessons learned in our First Year of Domestic Discipline
1. Spankings HURT!!! (yeah, yeah, I know they are supposed to...I have heard that a few times!)
2. Paddles of all shapes, sizes, and substances are evil
3. Submission is not a 4 letter word
4. Long term detrimental habits can be changed
5. DD has challenges, but this amazing relationship is worth it
6. DD has brought a closeness that we never knew possible
7. The DD community is amazingly supportive and has come to mean so much to us.
8. Being the HoH has brought SC's leading, protecting, and cherishing qualities to the surface
9. SC is a husband worth respecting
10. Being submissive to my HoH makes me feel loved, cherished, protected, and adored
The road has had a few bumps and turns, but we are one year in and going strong! I wonder what the next year will bring? (Hopefully less punishment spankings!)
I wanted to thank all of you! Readers, lurkers, and those who I have come to think of as friends. So many of you have become so special to me! Thank you for your friendship!
Special thanks to Christina from Red Booty Woman and Clint and Chelsea from Learning dd. The help you all have offered over the last year is incredible, and we are so thankful for your help in our making this first year of practicing domestic discipline a success!
Lastly, the hugest of thanks to my HoH. You are more amazing than I ever realized and I appreciate all that you do to make our marriage incredible. I am so blessed to be "Yours".