Sheesh. What a crazy week! I continue struggling with the speeding rule, but at least I am not getting spanked every time I get in the car. Improvement right?!?!
As we continue in our dd relationship, I have noticed how far we have come. A couple things I have realized this week:
1. I can accept a warning.
Why was that so difficult for me before? In the beginning of dd, whenever SC would give me a warning and not punish for something I felt he was being inconsistent.
And even better than that?
2. I was actually able to accept grace. Yes. I know, how crazy?!?! No on other than dd wives know how strange that is.
This week I have been having one of those terrible horrible no good very bad weeks. Yeah. that bad. I was fighting with my sister, stepped down from a major position I had on a committee I loved due to crazy made up conflict, my mom went in the hospital for a procedure only to end up not having it because she needs major heart surgery instead, and then I got a vicious attacking email from someone that is supposed to be my "friend." Add all that to daily swimming lessons and VBS for the kids along with me teaching every night and I was well....spent. Physically. Emotionally. I cried for days.
ok picture of patheticness painted yet? ;)
So I got in trouble yesterday. Yes, speeding was involved...along with two other rules breaks. All accidents but nonetheless I knew I was in trouble. But that horrible email? Yeah got it last night on the way to visit my mom in the hospital. SC was heartbroken for me. He is such my rock. Seeing that protective look in his eye as he was ready to take on the world for me made my heart swell with love and appreciation. Who doesn't love to be protected, right? So as he held me last night in between my tears and heartbreak, he whispered, I am not going to spank you tonight.
I looked up at him in surprise and through the tears with a questioning surprised look.
I am not going to spank you, but DO NOT confuse my kindness for weakness.
My heart swelled in appreciation. Yes, APPRECIATION. I stopped and searched my heart. Was I going to be ok with this? Could I accept this gift of kindness or would I feel guilty? Would I think him inconsistent? As I reflected, I realized, No. I would not hold the guilt or think him inconsistent. I could accept his grace and kindness. Woah! Where did that come from?!?!
A pleasant surprise for such a craptastic week.
I love my HoH. His strength, protectiveness, care, love, and yes, kindness.
How literal and true is this!?!? Ha!
Wouldn't dream of it! ;)