Saturday, June 8, 2013

Don't Confuse My Kindness for Weakness

Sheesh. What a crazy week! I continue struggling with the speeding rule, but at least I am not getting spanked every time I get in the car. Improvement right?!?!

As we continue in our dd relationship, I have noticed how far we have come. A couple things I have realized this week:

1. I can accept a warning.

Why was that so difficult for me before? In the beginning of dd, whenever SC would give me a warning and not punish for something I felt he was being inconsistent. 

And even better than that? 

2. I was actually able to accept grace. Yes. I know, how crazy?!?! No on other than dd wives know how strange that is. 

This week I have been having one of those terrible horrible no good very bad weeks. Yeah. that bad. I was fighting with my sister, stepped down from a major position I had on a committee I loved due to crazy made up conflict, my mom went in the hospital for a procedure only to end up not having it because she needs major heart surgery instead, and then I got a vicious attacking email from someone that is supposed to be my "friend." Add all that to daily swimming lessons and VBS for the kids along with me teaching every night and I was well....spent. Physically. Emotionally. I cried for days. 

ok picture of patheticness painted yet? ;) 

So I got in trouble yesterday. Yes, speeding was involved...along with two other rules breaks. All accidents but nonetheless I knew I was in trouble. But that horrible email? Yeah got it last night on the way to visit my mom in the hospital. SC was heartbroken for me. He is such my rock. Seeing that protective look in his eye as he was ready to take on the world for me made my heart swell with love and appreciation. Who doesn't love to be protected, right? So as he held me last night in between my tears and heartbreak, he whispered, I am not going to spank you tonight. 

I looked up at him in surprise and through the tears with a questioning surprised look. 

I am not going to spank you, but DO NOT confuse my kindness for weakness. 

My heart swelled in appreciation. Yes, APPRECIATION. I stopped and searched my heart. Was I going to be ok with this? Could I accept this gift of kindness or would I feel guilty? Would I think him inconsistent? As I reflected, I realized, No. I would not hold the guilt or think him inconsistent. I could accept his grace and kindness. Woah! Where did that come from?!?!

A pleasant surprise for such a craptastic week. 

I love my HoH. His strength, protectiveness, care, love, and yes, kindness. 

How literal and true is this!?!? Ha! 

Wouldn't dream of it! ;) 


  1. Such an awesome place to be in Cole! So happy for you.


  2. Oh Cole,
    I am so sorry your friend was so hateful to you. I once had a "friend" do that as well. She did it through instant messaging... One night she literelly kept me up until the wee hours of the morning with her "helpful" mean horrible cruel advice. My heart really goes out to you!

    Isn't it amazing when our Hoh's extend a strong hand of love to us? It's a bit humbling isn't it?

    Hope this week will go better for you and prayers for your mom. I know you must be terribly worried.

    much love

    1. Aren't those "friends" so great? ;) ha! Gotta love those strong HoH's though! :)

  3. It is so nice when they know when to show grace and even better when we can tell the difference between the gift of grace and inconsistency. I'm sorry you have so much going on at once. It always seems like when it rains it pours. I hope your mom gets well soon.

    1. Thanks! I could use some inconsistency about

  4. Hi Cole :)

    You're right, knowing when to give grace, and when to punish, is a good trait in a HOH. This doesn't mean inconsistency, it means knowing how to handle a situation correctly :)

    You sound happy, I'm pleased for you x

    1. Thanks Missy! Knowing when to give grace sure is tricky business. I am glad its not me who has to decide that! lol

  5. I'm glad that he was there for you. I hope your week gets better.

  6. Wow about half of what you wrote happened to me last week too. Barney on the other hand spanked me to 'help' me get over the remaining angst I had. While I wouldn't call this person a 'friend' I wouldn't have call them a non-friend either. It is horrible to have to go through that. I'm sorry you did. I hope you feel better inside soon in that regard.

    I will keep you and your Mom in my thoughts. That is a scary place to be. Hopefully you use your post 'grace' period wisely *wink*.


    1. It's tough isn't it?!?
      I hope things worked out for you and your quasi friend :) I am avoiding everything so far...too much craziness going on in my life right now!

  7. Aww, i'm sorry it's been tough lately. :( It's awesome that you have such a sweet, supportive, protective guy though. :)

    1. thanks! I am surviving! lol I am very blessed to have an awesome man though, that's for sure!!!