This week has been....tough. My mom had serious surgery and I have spent the week at the hospital WITH my kids. UGH. I am physically and emotionally spent.
My mom is on high doses of pain medications. Add in some crazy family and well....things have gotten interesting.
My mom That's the ummm... the... the Kama Sutra.
Me: laughing hysterically.
My mom: What? It's the Kama Sutra.
Me: I do not think this word means what you think it means. <insert more laughter> Do you mean the Quran?
Mom: No, that is the Jewish Bible
Me: more snickering. Ummm no. that's the Talmud. The Quran is the Muslim holy book.
Mom: No I mean the Kama Sutra
Me: laughing harder.
My sister: What's so funny? What is the Kama Sutra?
I then explain the Kama Sutra in utmost brevity to my mother and sister.
The next day...
My mom: No its the Kama Sutra
Me: Shaking my head. Oh my word. Are we back to this again? We still can't figure out what she is talking about...
We explain the comical nature of this to my aunt who is visiting.
My aunt: what's that book that everyone's talking about? That book about sex?
My sisters and I exchange looks....where in the world is this conversation going?!?!
My aunt: that book about sex...everyone is talking about it...uhhh...Shades of Grey?
Me: <choking laughter> trying not to appear to knowledgeable 50 Shades of Grey?
Aunt: yeah! That's it!
Sister: What is that about?
Me: It's a fictional trilogy about BDSM.
Sister: Whats that?
Me: ummm I don't know if I can remember all of it... <;) bahahahahahaha> Bondage, Dominance, Sadism, Masochism...something like that...
Insert questioning looks.
It's like dominance and submission... role play... sex stuff.
More smothered laughter. And now increased heart rate from me. I really don't want to appear too knowledgeable about this!
There was some more random comments. But I could barely pay attention. I was dying. Seriously. I was having this conversation with my mother, her sister, and my two sisters?!?!? ACK!
Wow. Explaining the Kama Sutra, BDSM, 50 Shades of Grey, and d/s all in one conversation with some very vanilla family. I guess I should be glad dd didn't come up! ;)
On another note...
As for me this week...I feel so distanced from everyone! I have had absolutely no time. I will try to catch up with blogs when everything settles.
It has been a tough week. SC has been gracious and has let a lot go. I just couldn't handle dealing with anything this week. I have been exhausted, stressed, and did I mention exhausted? I got spanked twice...both reminders but even though the reminder with the wooden paddle wasn't many I lost it after two. Little to no sleep makes one very sensitive!
I got to a point I know I needed it, but I just couldn't handle it. He was gracious and has been handling me carefully. Trying to be what I need, but not push more than I can handle.
Things are settling and he has assured me the reckoning is coming...tonight actually. A long maintenance session. But he has assured me the rules are back to being enforced today and he won't hesitate to add a punishment to it.
I am really having a hard time. I know I need maintenance. I have been stressed and feel so far from him. I know I need the reconnection...I am just afraid at what it will take. :( and I feel like I am out of practice....I don't think I could handle a punishment right now! I think I would totally loose it.
Such a difficult place to be in to know you need it but afraid to have it. <sigh> I guess I should be glad it is not up to me....
Crisis and stressful times have brought about yet even more questions of how to handle TTWD...ever evolving, ever growing. Goodness, this can be complicated! ;)