Monday, June 17, 2013

50 Shades and Awkward Conversations

This week has been....tough. My mom had serious surgery and I have spent the week at the hospital WITH my kids. UGH. I am physically and emotionally spent.

My mom is on high doses of pain medications. Add in some crazy family and well....things have gotten interesting.

My mom That's the ummm... the... the Kama Sutra.

Me: laughing hysterically.

My mom: What? It's the Kama Sutra. 

Me: I do not think this word means what you think it means. <insert more laughter> Do you mean the Quran?

Mom: No, that is the Jewish Bible

Me: more snickering. Ummm no. that's the Talmud. The Quran is the Muslim holy book. 

Mom: No I mean the Kama Sutra

Me: laughing harder.

My sister: What's so funny? What is the Kama Sutra? 

I then explain the Kama Sutra in utmost brevity to my mother and sister.

The next day...

My mom: No its the Kama Sutra

Me: Shaking my head. Oh my word. Are we back to this again? We still can't figure out what she is talking about...

We explain the comical nature of this to my aunt who is visiting.

My aunt: what's that book that everyone's talking about? That book about sex?

My sisters and I exchange looks....where in the world is this conversation going?!?!

My aunt: that book about sex...everyone is talking about it...uhhh...Shades of Grey?

Me: <choking laughter> trying not to appear to knowledgeable 50 Shades of Grey?

Aunt: yeah! That's it! 

Sister: What is that about?

oh my.

Me: It's a fictional trilogy about BDSM.

Sister: Whats that?

Oh dear.

Me: ummm I don't know if I can remember all of it... <;) bahahahahahaha> Bondage, Dominance, Sadism, Masochism...something like that...

Insert questioning looks.

It's like dominance and submission... role play... sex stuff.


More smothered laughter. And now increased heart rate from me. I really don't want to appear too knowledgeable about this!

There was some more random comments. But I could barely pay attention. I was dying. Seriously. I was having this conversation with my mother, her sister, and my two sisters?!?!? ACK!

Wow. Explaining the Kama Sutra, BDSM, 50 Shades of Grey, and d/s all in one conversation with some very vanilla family. I guess I should be glad dd didn't come up! ;)

On another note...

As for me this week...I feel so distanced from everyone! I have had absolutely no time. I will try to catch up with blogs when everything settles.

It has been a tough week. SC has been gracious and has let a lot go. I just couldn't handle dealing with anything this week. I have been exhausted, stressed, and did I mention exhausted? I got spanked twice...both reminders but even though the reminder with the wooden paddle wasn't many I lost it after two. Little to no sleep makes one very sensitive!

I got to a point I know I needed it, but I just couldn't handle it. He was gracious and has been handling me carefully. Trying to be what I need, but not push more than I can handle.

Things are settling and he has assured me the reckoning is coming...tonight actually. A long maintenance session. But he has assured me the rules are back to being enforced today and he won't hesitate to add a punishment to it.

I am really having a hard time. I know I need maintenance. I have been stressed and feel so far from him. I know I need the reconnection...I am just afraid at what it will take. :( and I feel like I am out of practice....I don't think I could handle a punishment right now! I think I would totally loose it.

Such a difficult place to be in to know you need it but afraid to have it. <sigh> I guess I should be glad it is not up to me....

Crisis and stressful times have brought about yet even more questions of how to handle TTWD...ever evolving, ever growing. Goodness, this can be complicated! ;)


  1. Oh my goodness! So funny. Did you ever figure out what book she meant?

  2. It's not always easy to act like you have no knowledge on a subject. I'm sure glad I didn't have to have that conversation. I hope your mom is doing well. It probably is a good thing that maintenance isn't left up to your choice. I understand the need for it and not wanting it. But once it's done you will be happier for the reconnection.
    Best wishes to you and your mom

  3. LOL. This is too funny. I can imagine how you must have felt. I hope your week gets better.

  4. Ha haa! that reminds me of a 50 Shades conversation that came up in Physical therapy last week...

    Sorry to hear about all the stress. Sending Hugs.

  5. Lol, thats such a funny convo to have with relatives!

    I'm sorry you've been so stressed, and as much as you're not sure if you'll be able to handle the spanking tonight, I think it might turn out to actually help. I know for me, sometimes when i'm stressed and I feel like it's the last thing I could possibly deal with, it turns out to be that one thing that really helps me out. I hope you find that's the case for you as well. :)

  6. Your conversations cracked me up!! Hilarious!!

    Good luck with your big reset! You can get back into that awesome mindset!!! :)

  7. Oh lol sat hear with tears in my eyes haha

    It's always funny when you get pulled in to such conversations, it's like wth which planet am I on. I've had a spanking conversation with my mum after we got busted one night an it was torture, but oh so funny ;)

    I'm so sorry about the stress you've had and still having :( I also know how it feels to know you need the reconnection but mentally and internally fighting it. As you said, it's good that it's not our choice at the end.

    I hope you feel better soon and that the reconnection helps x

    Hugs x

  8. Equally awkward conversation-----my adult daughter, married, herself already a mother asked me (A) Have you heard of the book Fifty Shades of Grey? (B) Do you think I should read it? (C) What's it about?

    Also awkward----My response that I will let you borrow my copy. But only with the understanding that when you are done with book one the ONLY discussion we will ever have about it is when you either return it without any comment or return it and ask for book two....

    That "also awkward" was a few weeks ago. And now we wait....

  9. Lol! I loved this post Cole!

    I would have the hardest time keeping a straight face - from comment to comment, I think my eyes would be bugging out and I would be fighting the giggles and the blush creeping up my neck AND also, like you said, trying to NOT appear too knowledgeable as well.

    Please let us know if there are any follow up conversations! ;)

    Thanks for sharing!!