Sunday, June 23, 2013

I am NOT a Victim

I am not a victim.
I am a dd wife.
My husband adores me.
I go to sleep every night in the tender embrace of my best friend.
I wake up and cuddle with the man of my dreams.
My husband listens to my fears, my struggles, my sadness, and joys.
He cries with me when I am sad, And laughs with me when I am happy.
My husband speaks to me respectfully,
He hurts when I hurt,
And he offers to take on the world when it has hurt me.
He is my protector.
I am safe in his arms. 
I respect him more than any man I have ever known.
By my choice he guides me when my choices threaten 
to derail the goals and hopes we have established for me, him, and our family. 
He encourages me when I fail,
And rejoices when I overcome.
I have a voice, 
And have chosen to occasionally check mine to give room for his.
I am strong and independent.
I make decisions, am mature and responsible, 
A leader in our community.
I am not a child and I am not treated as one.
My husband sees me as an equal, 
Made in the image of God with strengths and weaknesses just as he.
We have rules we have established together.
He is the Head of Household.
That fact is not lorded over me, 
He leads with love and gentleness, grace and truth.
I am a spanked wife. 
I choose to be a spanked wife.
I have a safe word. It can all stop with one word.
I am not weak. I am not blind. I am not controlled. 
I am not brainwashed. I am not abused.
I am cherished, treasured, and adored. 
Our marriage the envy of many.
I am not a victim. 
I am a dd wife. 

In light of recent events, I thought it appropriate to speak out. As one of those supposed victims, I stand and say I resent being called weak and feeble, controlled and abused. The attempt to speak out against domestic discipline has only victimized those they pity. I am not a victim. I am strong, intelligent, educated, and aware. I have worked with victims of domestic violence. I have met abusers and victims. I fully comprehend the power and control cycle. My marriage is not it. My marriage, home, and family is a safe haven. A place of refuge. 

The inability to understand is understandable...we were all there at one point. I may not be able to understand all of why this lifestyle is wonderful, but I assure you it is. I am happy, blessed, and so very grateful for the man I call HoH. 


  1. That was so beautiful. I'm thankful enough to say that I haven't had the problem of being attacked on my blog yet. I thought you said this very well. I do believe we are more cherished, protected and envy of our marriages then most. At least from all the marriages I see and know.

    1. Thank you. We certainly are cherished and protected...and wouldn't have it any other way! ;)

  2. Beautiful post Cole

    much love

  3. Love this post.

    Elisa Xo

  4. what a perfect post for right now. good for you, cole! :)

  5. Beautifully written Cole ~

    I'm happy for you and for all those in dd/ttwd marriages who can say the same. We are loved and we are blessed.

    :) Cali

    1. Thank you. Loved and blessed we are! :)

  6. This is a loving testimonial to what works for so many of us.
    Thank you

    1. Thank you. Yes, it works and we are happy. Wonderful isn't it? ;)

  7. Well done cole :) beautifully written.


  8. Hi Cole. I couldn't agree more, and I'm happy to say I'm a DD wife too!

    1. Thanks! This community can stand strong together! :)

  9. May you and your husband, forever more, have a 'spanking good time'. A blushing bare bottom to you, for expressing your thoughts so beautifully.

  10. maybe we should all get those matching rubber wrist bands that say "I'm not a husband spanks me" haha
    On a more serious note...I love being spanked (depending on the circumstance) because of TONS of reasons. Someone who is abused can NOT say that.

    1. Lol. Secret bands only we know again to unite all dd! And very true "I love this life!" Said no victim of dv ever!!!

  11. Hi Cole! I Love This! Very well said!

  12. Hi Cole, I am very pleased that your ever loving husband, gives you a 'spanking good time', on that voluptuous bare bottom of yours. May he continue into the distant future such happiness for both of you.

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