We did the clap test the first night in the cabin and it failed by epic proportions . . . so I was S.A.F.E. (So Absolutely Free Except---the part where we come home!) ACK.
Actually I managed to keep surprising control without serious consequences this past week. SC was definitely not inconsistent. He gave warnings, the "look", a few squeezes here and there, and yes, random swats when we were alone...but even though I am sure I crossed the respect line a few times, I made it home with only a "healthy maintenance" session to look forward to. "Healthy maintenance?!?" What in the world does that mean?!?! It doesn't sound....delightful. At. All.
I did get spanked a little this morning for some attitude...with a warning that tonight he would be reestablishing rules and roles. : / That just sounds....ick. Too much like reality.
I am missing my spank free cabin in the mountains....
It wouldn't be so bad if it was just maintenance...but this is "healthy maintenance" <insert growling stare here> Oh, and did I mention I have had a REALLY rude awakening of reality today? It has been a rougher than rough day. Somewhere along the road today I think I just stopped caring...thinking well, I am already in super trouble....I doubt it could get any worse...
Trying to get those lovely little people in my house back to reality to finish some schoolwork today was ummmm challenging. And I failed the challenge. :(
All of a sudden I am yearning for "healthy maintenance."
Ugh. Yesterday while I certainly wasn't looking forward to being spanked, I WAS looking forward to that reconnecting we would have...the reassertion of roles I knew we needed...but now? Now I am dreading tonight.
I totally need a redo, not a rude reckoning of rules, roles, and reality.