tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-190265362537976617.post6316422478612085011..comments2021-03-12T16:24:40.314-08:00Comments on Marriage Redefined: Disrespect-- Who defines it?Colehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14094102802633154552noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-190265362537976617.post-76540374597423183462013-12-19T13:23:15.834-08:002013-12-19T13:23:15.834-08:00Definitely a balance...
I'm the one who likes...Definitely a balance...<br /><br />I'm the one who likes my morning routine protected. Not a matter of respect but one of my quirks. Is it possible he felt that the disrespect was not what you did but that he's asked you not to before?<br /><br />Maybe the best approach is to acknowledge that he feels disrespected at the time but later ask to talk about it.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08858642432841882311noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-190265362537976617.post-27640052671009596292013-12-19T09:45:48.188-08:002013-12-19T09:45:48.188-08:00This one is very tricky, but thinking it through i...This one is very tricky, but thinking it through in another context makes it much clearer for me.<br /><br />In the public square, there are all sorts of ideas and behaviors that are interpreted as being disrespectful, or even "hateful", that are not intended by those engaging in the said behaviors as being so. Just because someone feels offended by what we say, for instance, does not make what we say truly offensive. Sometimes it's the listener who is exercising communication tyranny and acting in a completely unloving manner by interpreting statements and behaviors as offensive when they are not intended by their "author" as such, and insisting that their interpretation is the right one.<br /><br />Having said that, though, we, of course, want to know why someone feels disrespected or hated and what makes them feel so, in order that we can then determine how we might want to adjust what we say or do, or how we say or do it -- or not.<br /><br />As applied to HOH, they need to be loving and mature enough to listen to our hearts and intentions. Otherwise they are acting with a tyranny that they would most assuredly reject a listener exercising over them in the public square.<br /><br />We then listen as they explain why they feel that way. It's a cop out to call something disrespectful because it annoys them. That word is almost a magic word, giving them power to exercise dominance over every pet peeve, if they so choose. We love them or respect them enough to change, if that makes sense. They will probably still choose to interpret our not honoring their mere preferences as disrespect, if they are so inclined.<br /><br />There is definitely a balance here. It requires love on both sides to interpret intention and to give to the other in matters of mere preference. Spanking without explanation and for requests for said explanation may, or may not, ultimately be counterproductive. It really depends on the couple, the stage they are in, and the dynamic they are reaching for.<br /><br />Beth ElleAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-190265362537976617.post-2210482280002064822013-12-19T03:45:11.381-08:002013-12-19T03:45:11.381-08:00A convoluted answer perhaps but I think at my hous...A convoluted answer perhaps but I think at my house the confusion lies in my understanding of what makes my husband feel respected. I've been on a quest lately to figure this out and to show him respect instead of focusing almost entirely on not being disrespectful. The bathroom thing is a perfect example. How would any woman know that was disrespectful until they explained it. LOL...men. As mine has been giving me the why's I've slowly started to figure it out. Susiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00511114118020790717noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-190265362537976617.post-14998302772716908392013-12-19T01:25:16.242-08:002013-12-19T01:25:16.242-08:00ooooh…. tricky subject! I'm not sure either pe...ooooh…. tricky subject! I'm not sure either person is always right. Sometimes, I agree that it's about what the intent was BUT do you ever intend to be disrespectful? If you dont intend to push someone over and thats not what you meant to do, you still feel bad and apologise. Maybe this is the same…… <br /><br />I don't know, maybe I'm just rambling :P<br /><br />CallieCalliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08722173496181331492noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-190265362537976617.post-32911909792029127232013-12-18T10:16:42.594-08:002013-12-18T10:16:42.594-08:00I agree with Jennelle here. Having him give you th...I agree with Jennelle here. Having him give you the "why" behind the reason its disrespectful will be helpful in preventing it next time. In the meantime, steer clear of the bathroom while he is doing his morning routine ;)<br /><br />Hugs,<br />TriciaAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08876324552051181481noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-190265362537976617.post-24922176491075495172013-12-18T06:15:33.342-08:002013-12-18T06:15:33.342-08:00Cole,
This is a really hard one, I have no idea, a...Cole,<br />This is a really hard one, I have no idea, and I know I've complained to you about this too! It's a really hard issue, and I honestly feel like while the HOH ultimately determines the whole disrespect thing, they have a responsibility to communicate "why" they feel it's disrespectful...and that means maybe, taking a step back and taking the feelings and emotions out of it :) Big, Big HUGS!! Jennellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16417771951192212286noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-190265362537976617.post-43225394842486083082013-12-17T18:23:54.088-08:002013-12-17T18:23:54.088-08:00Cole,
I am right with you. I have been called on d...Cole,<br />I am right with you. I have been called on disrespect and my response was "REALLY". That earned me a quick spanking and when I fumed, some more! Especially when I pointed out that respect was a two way street. ......... I just can't win! <br />MeredithAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com